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Oddjob vs Robert E. O. Speedwagon
Oddjob vs Robert E. O. Speedwagon is a What If? episode of DEATH BATTLE. Featuring Oddjob from the James Bond novel and movie series against Speedwagon from the anime and manga JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Description Heads and hats will roll! Whose bladed hat flies true? Will Oddjob gracefully slice through his opponent, or will Speedwagon's opponent be on the receiving end of his hat? Interlude Wiz: Hats have been made into deadly throwing projectiles in fiction, turning them into an unorthodox yet subtle weapon, ideal for assassination. Boomstick: And it all started with the series of spy novels made by Ian Fleming, the 007 novel. Both of our combatants wield hats as weapons, and they're both ruffians! Wiz: Oddjob, one of Goldfinger's finest bodyguards. Boomstick: And Robert Speedwagon, the gang leader from Ogre Street. Wiz: I'm Wiz, and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle! Oddjob Wiz: Goldfinger is a notorious criminal sought after by multiple governments around the world, and even he can't do his evil agenda alone. Boomstick: That's why he's got his personal army of criminals to protect him. One of these guys is the odd one among them. Wiz: Oddjob. One of Goldfinger's finest henchmen, he is a squat Korean man of a few words. He acts as Goldfinger's personal chaffeur, bodyguard and golf caddy, a person who helps carry a golfer's equipment and often gives them moral advice. Boomstick: Seems like a nice guy than a gangster to me. Imagine being given moral support by this guy, only to get your head lopped off by a weird looking hat. Wiz: Being a henchman of Goldfinger, he possesses many useful skills in the criminal trade, such as martial arts and mastery with operating a vehicle. Boomstick: Uh, Wiz, what kind of "useful" skills does this fatso have? Wiz: Right, I'll get to that. Oddjob is a master martial artist, skilled in the art of karate and even earned a black belt. He is also skilled in hapkido and taekwondo, acquired during his stay in Korea. He is also an expert in using the bow and arrow, though he is never seen using it in combat. Boomstick: I've heard that this guy has a taste for cats as food? What the hell? Wiz: Uh, Boomstick, that information won't help us here. Boomstick: Okay then, I've also read that he is really strong! He crushed a golfball with one hand and even shattered a stone fireplace with his foot! Wiz: Given the fact that he did that with just one hand, it would require him to exert 4,000 lbs of force to completely crush a golfball, which is impossible to even the strongest humans. Boomstick: I've also read that his main weapon is a bladed hat! So that's where they got the idea Kung Lao... Wiz: Oddjob's hat is sharp enough to cut a marble statue's head. He can wield it with extreme accuracy, and never gets himself hit by it, even dodging his own hat when James Bond threw it back to him! Boomstick: Oddjob is also very durable, tanking a hit to the chest after James Bond threw a gold bar and even tanked a hit to the head from a wooden club! Even in their fight with Bond, Bond's hand to hand combat barely flinched him! Wiz: But he's got his weaknesses as a human too. He isn't extremely durable, as he was killed by electrocution as he was trying to retrieve his hat that got stuck in the metal bars, which was connected to a sparking wire. Oddjob: Ah! '''Ah!' Speedwagon Wiz: The slums of Ogre Street is a dangerous place, a breeding place for criminals and a cursed location, when an epidemic strikes London, it strikes here first. All the time. '''Boomstick: It's so dangerous, even the cats here eat dogs!' Wiz: Ogre Street is home to the gang of Robert E. O. Speedwagon, the leader of a band of thieves of Ogre Street. He has lived most of his life stealing and doing treacherous things, which gave him a unique ability to tell a good person apart from a bad person just by smelling them. Boomstick: There's a reason why it's called JoJo's BIZARRE Adventures! Everyone in that series is crazy! Or just unique in a way. Wiz: Speedwagon also explored the outside world in his youth, experimenting exotic African animals, strange Asian plants and even Caribbean tornadoes. Boomstick: Speedwagon's first appearance was during his encounter with Jonathan Joestar, the first JoJo. He expected easy money from this guy and was quickly defeated by his superior willpower and strength. Wiz: Speedwagon's arsenal consists of his main weapon, a bowler hat with a hidden buzzsaw built into its brim and a sledgehammer. Speedwagon is extremely proficient with the use of his hat, as he was able to throw it with accuracy and even spin it around him without cutting himself. Boomstick: Although Speedwagon can't channel the Ripple himself, he's still a great fighter, gaining survival experience from his tough life in Ogre Street. Wiz: Speedwagon is strong enough to permanently kill a zombie with a sledgehammer to its head. The zombies in this verse are very strong and fast, able to obliterate multiple people and even blitz through them. He endured the same attack from this zombie and only suffered a broken arm, while the others got dismembered or exploded heads. Boomstick: He was even the one who destroyed the Stone Mask, an artifact that gives its wearer superhuman strength, speed, durability, enhanced senses and manipulation of the elements fire, wind and light. Wiz: Speedwagon is extremely intelligent, able to see through Dio Brando's deception when no one else could, and even lead an entire gang of thieves in the entirety of Ogre Street. Boomstick: After his last encounter with Dio Brando, he grew old and became a founder of a philanthropic organization which funded the research of the supernatural and his company's work greatly helped future Joestars and their friends. Wiz: Speedwagon is a coward though, but even in desperate moments, he never leaves his friends. He showed a capability of channeling the Ripple through his body when William Antonio Zeppelli was extremely injured. Speedwagon is a force to be reckoned with. Speedwagon: Speedwagon withdraws '''coolly.' DEATH BATTLE Speedwagon is walking around the streets of London, while Oddjob is walking towards him, both of them completely unaware of their presence. They bump into each other and Speedwagon kindly demands an apology from him. ''Speedwagon: Oh, I'm sorry sir. I didn't see you there! I was daydreaming. Oddjob lets out an incomprehensible sound. Speedwagon: Excuse me? Can you speak clearly, sir? Oddjob unsheathes a knife and attempts to stab Speedwagon. Startled, Speedwagon side steps out of the knife's way and widens the gap between them. Speedwagon: I could smell treachery in you! Even degenerates shouldn't apologize to a ruffian like you! '' ''Oddjob: Hm hm hm! FIGHT Speedwagon and Oddjob throw their hats at each other. Their hats collide mid-air like bladed spinning tops, while both of them rush at each other and engage in a fistfight. Speedwagon headlocks Oddjob and starts punching his head and abdomen, only to be punched across the face by Oddjob. Oddjob: Ah! Oddjob delivers a knifehand strike to Speedwagon's neck, but misses, striking his shoulder instead. Speedwagon reels from the pain and grabs a nearby brick and smashes Oddjob's face with it, shattering the brick. The attack barely fazed him and he retaliates with a kick to Speedwagon's chest, causing him to wheeze. Oddjob throws Speedwagon to the ground and prepares to stomp Speedwagon's chest again, but Speedwagon rolls out of the way, revealing a metal spike that was on his back the whole time. Oddjob: Oh! Oddjob steps on the metal spike, with the spike penetrating the skin and reaching the upper side of his foot. He cries in pain as he tries to remove the spike, while Speedwagon swings his sledgehammer and hits Oddjob's waist. Oddjob falls down and forcefully removes the spike, causing him great pain. He shrugs it off and gets up, ready to fight again. Oddjob: Grrr! Speedwagon and Oddjob retrieve their hats and throw it at each other again, with Oddjob's hat getting stuck in a pile of bricks while Speedwagon's hat slashes Oddjob's chest. Speedwagon recalls the hat and throws Oddjob's hat towards him, which misses and Oddjob successfully catches his hat and wears it. Speedwagon: I have faced stronger foes than you! Leave now, retreat from this fight will not be dishonor! Oddjob: No way! Speedwagon swings his sledgehammer and it hits the side of Oddjob's head, stunning him. He pulls out his hat and slashes Oddjob four times before kicking him away. Oddjob takes his hat off and throws it at Speedwagon's shoulder, getting it stuck. Speedwagon tries to take it off, but Oddjob kicks him in the face and shoulder charges Speedwagon and yanks off the stuck hat. Speedwagon: Hmph. That..hurts. Speedwagon takes his sledgehammer and swings it across Oddjob's face, showing an X-Ray view of his skull shattering. He drops the sledgehammer and punches Oddjob, but Oddjob catches his fist and slowly twists his arm. Speedwagon feigns a punch, causing Oddjob to accidentally block his face, blinding him. He quickly kicks him in the groin and Oddjob cringes from the attack. Speedwagon slashes his face with his hat and punches him to the pavement. Oddjob does a Chinese get-up that kicks Speedwagon in the chin, showing an X-Ray view of his lower jaw cracking. Speedwagon staggers backwards. He gets his sledgehammer and blocks a charging Oddjob with a lead pipe. They clash, and after four clashes, Speedwagon breaks his lead pipe and hits him in the face. Stunned, Oddjob staggers around, almost falling to the ground but his legs try to keep him standing. Speedwagon: I'm not a ruffian anymore! But I've still got my murder instincts in me! K.O.! Speedwagon lifts his sledgehammer over his head and crushes Oddjob's back, popping his head off his body. Speedwagon: Even Speedwagon can do a brutality! FATALITY Speedwagon: Wait, what? That was a brutality, I swear! Results Boomstick: OH SHIT! That was a sight to behold! Wiz: Oddjob may be durable, tanking a hit to head from a wooden club and a strike to the chest with a gold bar, but it pales in comparison to Speedwagon's feats. Speedwagon got a his arm broken after a zombie blitzed through him and multiple police officers, exploding their heads and dismembering one. Boomstick: Both of them have sharp hats, with Oddjob's hat being the stronger one. But it doesn't help against the fact that Speedwagon has more than his hat to help him, he's a got a sledgehammer and his wits as a thief. Wiz: Correct. Oddjob has a stronger hat, but Speedwagon can handle his hat much better than Oddjob. While Oddjob can accurately throw his hat, Speedwagon can spin his hat around as if it were levitating, showing Speedwagon's proficiency with the hat. Boomstick: Don't forget that Speedwagon is faster than Oddjob, dodging a knife kicked at him by Jonathan Joestar. Wiz: Even the winner can be Speedwagon! Category:Xtasyamphetamine Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Companies Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles Category:'Hero vs. Villain' themed Death Battles Category:Anime/Manga vs Movie theme DEATH BATTLES Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2018